The Buddha Bouncer

On Saturday night we met our friend Bryan and one of his friends out for drinks (before The Long Winters show) and they left it up to me to pick the place. So I picked Shorty’s, a dive bar with lots of old arcade games (and Chicago style hot dogs!), and best yet, it was within walking distance of the concert venue. We got there around 8, so we had quite a few rounds of drinks before heading off to the concert and before long, some of the other patrons were getting drunker and drunker and while this one guy was getting KICKED OUT of the bar, he “accidentally” bumped into my friend Bryan. So Bryan heads outside (“for a smoke”) and now I’m starting to worry that something’s going to happen and someone’s going to “brawl.” As it is, Bryan just stands there calmly while the guy starts going ape sh*t at the bouncer about being kicked out and I can’t hear all the details but he’s screaming like mad, then he’s climbing a tree outside the bar, then he’s slamming himself into the door, and all this finally catches the attention of the lead bartender, a spunky little blond chick who rushes outside and reads him the riot act with all the spit and fire and vigor her little frame can muster. But nothing is calming this guy down. He won’t shut up, his friends won’t carry him away, and now a small crowd is forming (including my friends). So after several attempts to out-shout him, the bouncer finally looks at him calmly and says, “Look, man, I’m just trying to sit here and read. I don’t want to fight you. I’m just trying to do my job. Just let me do my job.” And the guy totally apologizes for being a jerk and walks off! It was hilarious. Proof again that kindness pays off!