I just tried to buy tickets to see David Sedaris in October and THIS was the password on the Ticketmaster site.


This reminds me of this time in college that I was doing some telemarketing to pay the bills. I was on this super-quick script, trying to sell free car insurance quotes to people, and basically you sat in front of a computer and waited for it to dial up the next number, but you wouldn’t even hear the dialing, you’d just hear the person pick up and say “Hello?” and then you were supposed to follow the script on the screen. Well, this one day I was totally spacing out in between calls and alluvasudden this woman picked up and said “Hello?” and I looked at the screen and the name was


Seriously. So I said…. “Hi, is Mr. or Mrs. F*cks available?” (I totally did. I swear.)

And the angry woman on the other end said, “That’s now how you say our name.”

And I said, “Oh, I’m sorry… Mrs. Fuches?”

And she screamed, “It’s FUKES!” and hung up on me.

I felt really, really bad, because I hate it when people slaughter my name. But it was a wake-up call (no pun intended) and at about that time I realized I needed to find more gainful employment.

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2 Responses to fructed

  1. Rich says:

    I told you not to talk like that.

  2. Janet says:

    LOL! I love this story but your dad’s comment is priceless. 🙂

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